emostate

very long never emo state liao.
i yesterday like that lor.
thanks much to YAPYONGLING, who comforted me and told me some stuff
i mean like...
you can give advice to people for their prob.
but for your own prob, you have to ask for advice.
its weird isnt it.
os yesterday, there.
was there when almost everyone was there.
:o
and, unknowingly, i sat the 'door' seat.
he moved. not w me.
the truth struck me.
all was one sided.
all gone now.
i was sad. but still laughed. even after i wrote
feels like i fell out of love
on my phone.
after that ended, i messaged yongling.
and was sad.
emoed openly, but not that openly. <:
i decided to not tell anyone.
but i still told bryan yew.
but, his definition of love is same as mine.
its damn extreme and fake.
it hurts like mad. although it looks good on the outside.
and i told yongling.
even that person's name. :o
she helped me. like what i just said. <:
but now, im not sure if i wanna let go anot.
im not as sure as the one before.
so, emoed. sad mah, cant blame. dun tell me people would be hyper if that happened.
went to my parents oikos,
was typing this whole paragraph:
After a day passed, i close my room doors
and cried out all the unhappiness, sadness,
and the energy used to fake a smile in front of everyone.
i used to look at you with no worries and stuff,
with the feeling of love and being loved. now, its nothing.
but one day, i will be saying,
im okay now.
its already in the past.
all the sad tears dried up.
there is nothing to remember.
nothing good to remember.
no happy memories to remember.
i forgotten it all.
i've let it go already. and im better than before.
cant believe i took it up, stored abit of hope in it.
but, it disappeared before i could see it.
i had to put it down, or carry it with me for my whole life.
i still dont know what to choose.
i prayed for it to be nice.
guess i have to wait.
or let go.
<: the 2nd choice seems btr.
;( gtg, cyaas. not that well. now.

11:26:00 AM ·