Okay fine la all my fault.

Okay fine now my fault.
You're faultless (: Happy?
Cuz of my badass attitude,
cuz I found new friends
Cuz I got into a new damned class.
Unlike you, you got your old friends and hence didnt need new friends.
And, I told yl/vinny that my teacher nvr come so i'll be down.
And what? My phone? It wasnt with me.
Yes, My fault, thanks. Nice, I love this.
Still, till now, I dont get it.
You know it well that we don't talk anymore. Right?
Yeah, cuz of my badass attitude. okay ya I dont deny.
Me wrong again, YAY.
I didn't not like whatever you do okay.
I liked how we used to be so close.
I like it that you were always by my side silently.
I like it that you let me have my new friends.
So dont think that I was pissed at everything you do, even if I didnt say anything okay.
Okay la, see then see la, fine I dont say that liao lor. My fault for the millionth time.
But I said I was kidding right.
Okay la, i always do that,
I changed, I'm not like before. What do you expect me to do when you don't even say anything.
I also nvr say its your fault that you had to leave. So I decided to go flea market with you
Then you say I treating you all as spare tyre.
Okay, I busybody lah,
Shouldnt have done that. Should have spared myself from all these.
My fault again thanks.
And, YOU were the one who said that I was treating you all as sparetyre one okay,
called me an asshole and tell me go find her.
From this line, you didn't need me anymore. You didn't want me anymore.
I know that like different class so will drift abit so I tried to join y'all for recess and at the same time, not break you all up.
I tried okay.
You think I treat you all as spare tyre then like that lor.
You like can liao -.-
I got say you replaced someone else with me meh.
Yes I got replaced, but you didnt do it.
You tried talking to me?
Who was the one who could continue laughing in front of vinny, yongling and pearlie they all,
but would always emo when I'm there.
How could I continue talking when all I got was :oh.
Or hahas.
You know what?
It felt like I couldnt bring you happiness and laughter since feburary.
I felt like I sucked so much that I could have died.
I liked days when we talked non stop and high-fived non stop.
Okay la, thanks for caring for me by asking me if I need you pei me.
Yeah, thanks for caring for everyone else too.
Didn't you ask everyone else.
Ohyes, You were kindhearted. I didnt forget that.
You said:
All 3 of us wanted it to be 4 again.
WHAT ?
Did you mean that I didn't want it to be the way like before?
Like when no one was stopping us and all the crazy stuff we did?
With that sentence, you clearly drew a line between " all 3 of us" and "me".
But I didn't. But it was " the two of us" with " the two of them" instead.
Am I not replaced by her? You wouldnt know, but I do.
I know how it felt like when you see your best friends having another 4-people-going-out kinda stuff even if it was just for awhile or something.
Did you really think I told gladys or kerlynn any of my secrets?
I didnt tell any to kerlynn.
To gladys, I told her who I liked. But you knew it a year ago.
That wasn't even a secret cuz almost everyone close to me knows it.
Okay yeah, you dont talk to andrea/suchii much.
But your new clique-like party did. :D NICE, PRETTY, CLAPCLAP.
Yes I never say it out, okay my prob and my fault again.
But at the same time, did you tell me that I was being such a fucking bitch?
Okay, yes, you couldnt bear to, so you wrote it in your blog instead. NICEST thing you've ever did to me, I appreciate it.
Fine I'll stop calling you bitch okay.
I'll call you by your full name.
Formal is always polite.
You like right? Okay I'll do it.
HAHAHAHAHAH if that asshole wasnt pointing to me,
and pointing to your life right?
Then, is your life " treating you as spare tyre" and able to " go and find his/her new friends?"
I'd LOVE to come with y'all.
Didn't you all hate my badass attitude?
Yeah now tell me you still want me come with you all.
Say that out and I will.
You guess that I won't.
But the prob is, 1- you guessed it.
2- you might not even want me to come back at all.
How the hell could I forget our 3yr 1 month anniversary.
Are you kidding me.
Mind you it was such an awesome date.
Yeah okay thanks for being harsh in the post and thanks for caring.
BTW, in your previous post, you said: You know we don't freaking care anymore lers.
HAHA so do you care or not.
Don't contradict yourself.
Now, also, I'm going to say the same thing: I was harsh in the post cuz I care.
Don't judge me cuz you think I'm that way.
I'm happy with my new friends, yes.
Cuz I feel like I'm not needed in anyone else's life anymore, anywhere, everyday.
In school, its your friends. Weekends, You know who. I told you before.
And guess what. I've only told our clique before.
And, for my new friends,
At least they can make me feel like I'm loved for who I am, even if it was just for this moment.
This short time when I felt important.
But really.
Did you not realise that I like it more when we were close? Like before?
HAH YES before my badass attitude.
How do you define the term"happiness"
By whether a person is laughing or not?
No way.
Happiness is when you know you're with your bestfriend and for that spilt second, you know that nothing would break the both of you up for this period of time.
Like when we were in sec2 camp. Remember? When we were suaning Zhekai, remember?
and, pls la, I wouldnt be "sad" by talking to you.
Or by having my old friends back again.
Being apart from my new friends for awhile wouldnt make me sad too.
What makes me sad is when my bestie is talking behind me in her blog which is supposedly "kept secret" from the world, But I somehow accidentally found it.
Calling me asshole and to go back to my new friends and to cut the act.
Tell me, WHAT ACT DO I HAVE TO CUT.
Sec1, it wasnt even your fault.
It was mine, for the millionth time, Mine.
FYI, Sec1, I betrayed you and liked your boyfriend after you broke up. Yeahs, don't push the blame to yourself.
I found myself a supposedly new friend, named Andrea, and made you sad.
This is MY fault. Not yours.
How could I get sad in sec1 when I had new friends. Yes now stop blaming yourself. Get over it, it's mine.
I swear you were the one feeling sad instead.
I don't deny I was pissed+upset.
But at last, I realised how much I was "needed" with you all.
I realised how important I was. At least to you all.
I thought that I could never be replaced, till now.
If you neverminded at how I could have new friends,
you wouldnt have been so pissed off at how I love my new friends and how you kept thinking that I was treating you all as spare tyre.
Well, I can't tie you up either.
Do whatever you wanna do.
And, I never stopped trusting+believing in you, cuz I know you've always been true to me and never lied.
You say what, I promise I'll believe.
But what do you want me to do, when you're not even saying anything.

Three thing I'll promise after this post
1) I'll stop saying: WHAT, SEE WHAT SEE , to anyone, and to cut my badass shitty attitude.
2) I'll never replace you with them, if we were close like we used to be.
3) I'll wish deeply and pray that the 4 of us would be back to the time when it used to be only us and nothing could break us up.

But, at the same time, if you don't want me in your life,
tell me, I'll leave.
Unwilling, but you like can liao.
Still, I'm going to remain as friends with my new friends.
I'm in a new class without you.
So tell me what I'm supposed to rely on when no one I know is there.
But, if you don't want me to go out with them, I wont.
At least, tell me.
I had the feeling of being hated by everyone before, and what could I expect this time?
Nothing much actually. Like being hated by everyone in MFSS in sec1, not knowing if it was a lie or truth.
Anyways, don't expect me to do something when you're not telling me to.
Say it and I promise I'll try to do it.

We're not the only ones.
There're many others, who's probs are worse than ours.
I guess we're not at the stage when there's no return yet.

5:44:00 PM ·