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It hurts when you could easily forget the memories we shared,
the ones which I remembered even when I didn't want to.
Quotes.
'Missing you isn't the problem, it's wondering if you'll ever come back that's killing me.'

'Sometimes when you sacrifice something special, you’re not really losing it. You’re just passing it on. '


♥-/Increased.Heartbeat

!!

ME.



I'm a simple girl living in a complicated world. I'm friendly and purple-struck. I get high at wrong times and I want to stay like that forever.
I don't do drugs, I'm not in any gang. I'm that normal girl who is on Facebook, Twitter and MSN. Fell out of love and lost trust in it. Fahrenheit's sizzling hot and they burn. I see flames shooting out already.


Screams.



Yours Truly,
Basecodes: Bituwin
Designer: Increased.Heartbeat
Icons: HeartIcons

Thursday, June 24, 2010
CHURCH CAMP

CHURCH CAMP WAS AWESOME.
the memories still run through my head, and i just cant stop smiling. <: hmm. heres DAY 1 !
8 people from cellgroup.
7 was at church
cos kongwei went thr himself i think?
something marry or what..?
the bus trip there was... SLEEPING .
went there, my mum was ... being so "nice and kind"
so, i lagged behind, cos of my "awesome and bestestestest mum"
anws, saw kongwei there.
cos my bus was faster den my cellgroup people one.
cos i same bus w sherm and sheryl.
<: awesome.
anws, back to saw him there.
he walked to the door or whatever that is, cos loads of people walk there.
basically, they didnt give clear instructions. so, saw him and ,
for the 1st time in my entire life {im exaggerating}
what i mean is when i joined cellgroup i talked to him.
its 4 sentences long, but who cares?
at least he replied? >:O
uh, that time my parents fetch me home and we were at the same bus stop and i said bye too softly or what.
but who cares?
<: uh, so this was it:
me: ...oh, hellos [act like i just saw him]
he: oh, hi
- silence -
he: you come for chinese one right?
me: yeahs. [smile WIDE]
he: hahaha [smiles]
- silence abit again -
me: eh, your buddy wenxing lehs, his bus i think just come... uh.. THERE ! [saw wenxing]
he: <: oh..
wenxing: KONGWEI ! i got the key card liao !
he: OH !
-- end of convo--
... i know its damn pathetic. >:(
but, 7 sentences !
<: kekekeke super happy? =.= so so so, not much.
got a weeeeeny tweeeeeeny briefing at victorian.
what happened was that wenxing took my ezlink card and showed it to almost everyone. >:(
so, im practically dead.
ohwell.
den, weixue p6, was supposed to go to play w the children.
yes, kidddddy children.
but, he didnt wna go. bryan was like: wait till youre 15 den say.
i was silent.
some convo happened, and i was listening.
about kongwei not being 15 yet and has to go to the kids place or what?
he said: hahas, esther, zou ler lah.
something like that? forgot. :x
which means go lah.
he was kidding.
cos our cellgroup people were ready to go off when jon said the kids go to the other room.
means, go to the kiddy place cos according to bryan, im still a kid.
a KID. get real.
hmm, so ...
<: service was in classic 2. and my room was on the 15th floor.
so it was 1505.
weixue( auntie lijiao and angela) -208
kongwei and wenxing - 305
denver and wenhui - 805
sheryl and sherm - 1512
AWESOME. same level as sherm and sheryl. <:
anws, not much. slept slept slept. :P madnessly cold.

DAY 2 !
morning sermon was damn squeezed. >:(
shant say more. makes my heart boil angry.
>:(
afternoon, went mid-valley w cellgroup people.
went there for arcade.
played the bball thing, drum thing, 3 buttons thing and spot the diff thing.
the 3 buttons thing, me, wenxing and meiyen played.
wenxing and i died.
so meiyen 'revived' me.
so, i ask wenxing come over,
we two play 3 button, meiyen play 3.
we won meiyen for 1. ! YAY !
so, finish liao, some stuff happened and wenxing was sick.
went back to hotel and slept.

DAY 3 !
early in the morning, went for the ling xiu thing.
tired !
dens, grace was like you all leave wenxing in his own room?
den, meiyen tell bryan to bring porridge up.
me and her take care of auntie lijiao and angela.
den they sleep le, i go service.
weixue was lost halfway.
saw tht they 2 went hospital.
after service, i brought weixue to kongwei's room.
he has been screaming to see wenxing and kongwei.
to play i think? xiao di di always wna play larhs. :D
so, got mushroom soup for wenxing.
wenhui asked me to.
i went dwn to eat.
with weixue.
become nanny liaos. jkjks.
he was playing trick on kongwei, tricking him to faster or something. =.= primary school stuff.
chiong eat. no mood mahs.
went back to my own room.
den go denver room , weixue in there, he said that kongwei go hospital.
i was like: HUH?! he also got?!
{shocked}
so, went back to my own room for a long long long tub bathe. which rocks ttvm.
and, went to denver room.
kongwei discharge or whatever, den i cant go back to my own room.
apparently, i accidentally locked myself out of the room.
and the service counter say can only 1 extra card. )*&$%^&#^*%
which was taken.
so, jialat lah.
so, stayed in that room.
kongwei and weixue snatching over PSP.
>:O
i watched tv.
the hottie and the nottie.
paris hilton is mad chio cans?
there were sex scenes and i tried avoiding watching that, and denver was so so so horny. >:O
wenhui went back, i was there, so there was something he couldnt do and stuff like that and i went down, saw mum and went up.
to my own own own room
lucky me.
<: the night service, felt sick.
went back to room.
mum thought that i was lying.
so, GO HEAVEN! <: i dont curse people. i shant?
but i soon will. so, i was mad pissed at her.
prayed and my fever was gone.
mad surprised. went back room, slept.

DAY 4 !
still okay
during lunch, sat w shi mu, auntie esther, sherm, sheryl.
weixue got scolded cos he wan sit w me.
YUCK.
i dont wna sit w him.
:D -mean mean mean-
so, kongwei, wenhui and denver came to our table, and ate thr.
wenhui went off idk when.
sherm was reading.
right after eating
so sheryl and i joking about her.
say bookworm.
denver was like saying: eh, i last time also bookworm.
guess what.
ENID BLYTON BOOKS.
kiddo books. <: >:D --feeling mean--
there was an ant in my drink.
in my plain water.
>:(
disgusted.
sheryl and i siao-ed.
we laughed like mad.
water is h[two]o,
sheryl said: o[two]
and sherm got so agitated.
said: o[two] is oxygen ! h[two] o is water. h[two]....
sheryl and i not listening.
we were already laughing.
:D
the ant drink, sheryl and i put sugar into it and took the ant out. tasted quite okay.
:D
denver and auntie esther got into a convo.
from books to korea. :D mad funny . sheryl and i laughing.
like madness.
ohwait.
more than madness.
kongwei saw us laughing like mad.
so, i looked into his eyes and continued laughing?
yes, continued. unstoppable.
and i didnt wna stop too.
can see he was starting to laugh abit. :D
so, i told him to drink the sugar water.
sheryl and i laughing.
he didnt drink. :x
looks perfectly normal.
so, it was our laughter.
weixue and i went into war again. <: he was just being a little bitch. photo was damn fail. >:(
but, i didnt even care.
i seem to be more 'no photos alr' kinda person?
>:(
in the bus, sheryl and i kept talking. sherm came in at the last part.
sheryl wanted to come my cellgroup.
she thought it was fun, cos got games. :D AWESOME.
... it IS fun. a fact.
sherm cant go, cos got that stalker. >:( SAD ~
got 1 bus drove past, i waved.
one old uncle waved back. :D awesome
friendly people are the awesomest people in the universe.
:D we waved to almost every bus.
sheryl and i .
siaoed ttvm.
den, chinese ministry got 2 buses. E and F.
i in E w sherm and sheryl.
my cellgroup in F.
sheryl wanted to go F, cos in E, wasnt that funny.
{became abit funnier when we waved.}
hmm, she had good impression of denver as funny. :D
when we did our passport stuff, we waved to the other bus.
mad funny. mass waving.
some people were giving us the weird looks. others were waving back.
AWESOME !
YanYing looked sick.
sheryl and i waved to her.
OH, she smiled to us. AWESOME.
some people still in hospital.
heard that our last lunch, got worm in the chicken dish.
EW. -feel like puking now-


so, sum it up, church camp was fun.
had memories.
didnt end. it just started.
:D
i can influence people into laughing?
im AWESOME.
i talked to people who i never talked to.
i do smile.
im happy. im sleepy.
i fall sick.
mum's a liar.
{she promised me medicine and i got it only in thr room.)
so, that sums it up.
more stuff, ask me about it.
school people, church people.
different explanations.
cos there are some stuff i cant tel church peeppos. :D
there i go. cyaas.

Labels:


Saturday, June 12, 2010
emostate

very long never emo state liao.
i yesterday like that lor.
thanks much to YAPYONGLING, who comforted me and told me some stuff
i mean like...
you can give advice to people for their prob.
but for your own prob, you have to ask for advice.
its weird isnt it.
os yesterday, there.
was there when almost everyone was there.
:o
and, unknowingly, i sat the 'door' seat.
he moved. not w me.
the truth struck me.
all was one sided.
all gone now.
i was sad. but still laughed. even after i wrote
feels like i fell out of love
on my phone.
after that ended, i messaged yongling.
and was sad.
emoed openly, but not that openly. <:
i decided to not tell anyone.
but i still told bryan yew.
but, his definition of love is same as mine.
its damn extreme and fake.
it hurts like mad. although it looks good on the outside.
and i told yongling.
even that person's name. :o
she helped me. like what i just said. <:
but now, im not sure if i wanna let go anot.
im not as sure as the one before.
so, emoed. sad mah, cant blame. dun tell me people would be hyper if that happened.
went to my parents oikos,
was typing this whole paragraph:
After a day passed, i close my room doors
and cried out all the unhappiness, sadness,
and the energy used to fake a smile in front of everyone.
i used to look at you with no worries and stuff,
with the feeling of love and being loved. now, its nothing.
but one day, i will be saying,
im okay now.
its already in the past.
all the sad tears dried up.
there is nothing to remember.
nothing good to remember.
no happy memories to remember.
i forgotten it all.
i've let it go already. and im better than before.
cant believe i took it up, stored abit of hope in it.
but, it disappeared before i could see it.
i had to put it down, or carry it with me for my whole life.
i still dont know what to choose.
i prayed for it to be nice.
guess i have to wait.
or let go.
<: the 2nd choice seems btr.
;( gtg, cyaas. not that well. now.

Friday, June 11, 2010
valvalvalval

today my post will be MAINLY about val.
MAINLY.
so not all.
equals to , not my whole day and wun be so long.
people, BE JEALOUS THAT THIS DAY IS FOR HER !
ValerieNgLiXian; Val, XiiaoVal, valval.
my SanJie or lsVes.
lsves basically stands for :
Linette
Shermaine
Valerie
Esther
Sheryl.
<: we are th clique.
get jealous. HAH. i have awesome friends, even in church.
uhh. they are my closest and greatest and bestest friends in church.
anws, back to val.
ive known her since p3/p4.
so that means we have 5years of lovely friendship.
<: AWESOME.
anws, if we were frens at p3, i think i forgot everything.
so, lets start from p4.
maybe not. later. i'll say about how we became friends.( italics)
i hated this church when i was in primary school.
friendless.
the feeling sucked.
i wanted to go chinese service w my parents cos my parent FORBADE me to go to fcbc. <:
one day, my mum thought that it was getting unacceptable.
cos, my dad and her are... loving this church?
their cellgroup was awesome for them.
<:
val, sherm and sheryl 's parents were in that cellgroup.
so, my parents know their parents.
so, my mum brought me to the primary-school-kids-place and intro me to them.
i damn paiseh.
but, val, being TALKATIVE, as always,
talked to me 1st.
i rmbed not being so open until something happened.
i forgot what that thing was. :x
anws, lets go back to our p4 state.
<:
p4.
both of us were..
hyper.
active.
talk-back those kinda kids.
stubborn. :x ( thats why i said both of us :P)
'unforgiving'
crazy
SHORT. ( that time. that time she was taller den me. but still short. :x)
open to each other
friendly. (i dont know what i mean but yeah..)

so, all these 'same characteristics'
made us so mad mad mad close.
when we are close, i mean CLOSE.
but, when we fight, we are HORRIBLE.
and i mean it like madness.
hmm..
now that those fights were centuries ago.
i forgot how we actually fought. except for some.
so anws, p4, we were damn extreme. i think those who suffered most was shermaine.
we were practically fighting for her. :x
shermaine, being always kindhearted, can do nothing. :x
however, the christmas shopping during p4.
pulled us closer or what. i dontknow. :x
and, bear in mind. during p4, my taste of clothing, SUCK TO THE SHIT.
ah tiong stuff all around.
didnt even dare utter a word shit.
so guai. <:
and, i think once, we got so close, cos of the guys.
how?
we both were TOTALLY against the guys.
we aimed mutton.
i dont know why. :x
i still dont now.
:D HAHAHAHAH
__________________________________________________________
p5: things got way way way worse.
all 3 of us,
val, shermaine and ME,
got separated into 3 diff classes.
i was in aunty doreen's class.
i always wan play w them at the other classroom.
we got into diff classes maybe cos they know that we will talk too much tgt. ;x
i always tried to go to aunty sam's class, with them.
(now thinking back, aunty doreen was great too)
:x too close until like superglueey.
in p5, the classes mixed guys and girls.
i dont know why they wna put like that.
maybe they are scared that we become lesbians or gays or homos.
idontknow.
their nice brains.
:O so, never fight much during p5
_______________________________________________________________
p6, all the fun began again.
we were close back again like madness.
cos this time, its girls and guys class.
i think the teachers opened their mind to homos.
:o
so, girls always played dodgeball.
it was fun, but sometimes, NOT.
normally, val, sherm and i wld be in a group.
then some others in another grp.
but sometimes, the other group not enough members.
and none from our group was willing to go to the other side, so val 'sacrificed' herself.
:o den always, being 'sore-loser'
when we kenna hit, we say nvr hit.
when we nvr hit others, we say tio lo.
so, we got fights often.
and i dontknow how we actually patch up every time,
but we just did.
and, i got influenced by her, so i wore something ... abit better. i mean an incy wincy bit.
and i swore never to touch dresses again.
... but i still broke it. who cares anyway.
anyway, dodgeball was fun.
we th grp got me, her and another girl(forgot her name)
we will sure win.
okay lah, i dont help much.
:x
at least im always the last 2nd or 3rd standing out of the 8 okay?!
sometimes, not often, the last one.
always, as usual, val would be the last.
if val 'died' before us, we wld swap for her.
she too monkey. <: jump too much, dodge easily.
jkjks.
and there, i grew taller. <: HAHAHAHAHAH
she got a weeeee bit jealous.
WHOOPS.
:D
and, things were rough.
once, we fought so siao until...
even in front of our parents we are ignoring each other. :o
you know, according to parents, everyone must be friends and no enemies and stuff like that. <:
how that happened, was that
a girl told me about val.
but, not her gd pts.
say about her bad points.
( i forgot what she said, cos val said this)
den, i buay song val.val buaysong me that i buaysong her. ;x
idk how we got over this.
but , its over, so, who cares.
and this once, we were so close, cos the guys merge class w us, for GAMES ONLY.
HAHAHAHAH, they jealous that we can play dodgeball, an active game
they.. loser lah. <:
so xun ttm.
so, it was girls vs guys.
as usual and expect, val and martin was the last 2 standing.
so awesome and sweet hor.
should become couple. :P jkjk.
later she scream at me. she hates him.
:o
anws, p6 had this camp.
she and me were the 2 group leaders.
SUAY LAH.
i dont wanna fight w her again. i tink i swore or something. maybe not. :P
so, we just did our best and both of us tied i think? or she won. i forgot.
but, the fun we had was the most important.
<: we reallllllyyyy bonded there.
as in seriously.
and, i still rmb martin in mohawk. mad funny.
the last day, we went to the seaside or beach.
played watergames.
(what im gonna say until the sec1 part was what val reminded me of kays ?!)
at the end, someone from each group has to be buried in the sand, and the most creative would get something or what.
so, i forgot who kenna buried.
someone buried as a mermaid.
female mermaid.
get what i mean? <:
*evil grin*
after it ended, i was w val. martin freaking kicked the sand.
and, we got into a sand fight.
i think val was in and helped me. :D AWESOME. kickedhisass.
i dont mean kicked THERE.
i meant trashed.
so, accidentally or not, he kicked sand into my eyes.
...
i know, i have specs but it still got into my eyes.
i took out, my specs, clipped onto my shirt, and went to the water there, the sea,
to wash my face.
and get the sand out.
and, my specs slipped out and got into the sea.
when i dried my face, my specs wasnt there, so i suspected that it was in the sea.
and tadahh, i lost my specs.
anws, awesome lah, i had those specs for a year alr. :(
so, was blur all the way back home. :o
next up, sec 1
_________________________________________________________________
sec1, shopped with her to the max.
never fought.
sec1 liao lah, we give in to each other.
and no one to sabo our frenship now. <:
then , i was in youth.
so quite close lah, we got promoted there. <:
i rmb, the 1st day in 2009,
was a sunday.
i was w val at the eating hall or something.
martin did something or what.
quite old or something
so, we were like: OhMyGawsh.
that was so so so last year. get new.
then she said: yeah ! but last year was less than a day ago.
and we laughed.
shopped like mad, like girls.
bonded.
all the fights were over.
for real.
so, not much now. :x
cos we were practically twins.
made truckloads of nicknames w each other.
when june, i went to chinese.
finally, willingly.
cos youth change timeslot.
accepted the fact.
the end of sec1, during christmas, i got into a totally new and awesome cellgroup. <:
saw a jss friend in there.
but, it was like we didnt know each other
but, who care lahs. <:
________________________________________________________
sec2:
i went chinese.
HAPPILY.
never keep in touch for quite long.
her morning messages came in. <3 it ttm.
but, we still went shopping tgt.
and she got to know yongling.
<:
YONGLING.
both are my twins.
so, was glad.
shopped with her like mad.
once, we are at arcade and we play PUSH !
got damn hyper there and everyone was staring at us.
and, we took more neoprints.
like.. 2 or 3 more.
<:
still close.
VERY. i mean like.. 5 years is LONG.
in 5 yrs, i will get my driving licence.
and yes, i know i will get it.
i MUST.
i heart driving. idk why.
<3 HAHAHAHAH
anws, we shared our troubles and crush and stuff like that.
<: i know she is awesome.
HAHAHAHAH.
now, we have the same tuition in church.
the distance dont matter.
ive just proved that to you.
toapayoh and bedok.
AWESOME.
______________________________________________________
anws, today is her bday.
guess what.
i said happy birthday to her through sms, blog and facebook.
i hope and think that no one did that.
3 lehs.
msn. SHUCKS.
but one nia, dont matter. <:
so, all three contactable methods.
all during midnight.
3rd in fb, 3rd in sms, 1st on blog.
OHYEAH.
thats the way i love it. ;D kekeke
so,
AM I AWESOME OR WHAT?!
okays, i AM.
<: val sanjie sotong twin squishy bubblessie, HAPPYBIRTHDAY.
and i know im awesome. <: ( bhb for awhile lahs. )
<3octopussy.>

Labels:


Tuesday, June 8, 2010
memories of yesterday

yesterday.
weird.
today.
weirder.
anws, ytd, used the com. as usual.
den, talked to martin.
i mean the martin from my church.
not my school form teacher.
totally NOT.
anws, i was bloody surprised that i talked to him.
ohwell, just asked what val wanted to know.
<:
his answers were negative.
den after he ask me why i ask him, we talk abit lah.
he dun like daniel. :o
i thought they were great frens.
he say daniel too horny.
<: lucky he dunno me and tamilyn. ;D kekeke
doubt im ever gonna talk to him again.
unless if he starts talk.
so slutty. <:
i think val havent forget about the beach thinggy. :x
but, its over.
<: i know i dont care.
HAHAHAHAH.
sian lah, today got cca, knn.
cyaas

Saturday, June 5, 2010
yesterday

OHYEAH, OHYEAH, there is something i MUST blog about.
about yesterday at cellgroup.
i think people who were there who what i wan blog about.
and although it 12hours ago, im still laughing about that thing. <:
<3 innocent cute little boys
:D HAHAHAHAH.
hmm..
this small china accent guy called xiaoqiang.
i know. its weird, cos xiaoqiang is cockroach.
but thats his name . :x
he played with cellgroup people. DAMN CUTE LAH !
he, kongwei and wenbing put the red pillow on their head and looked like a family.
<: they all did peace sign that time mad cute !
zhengyi took photo.
i ask zhengyi what would he look like if he was being tickled.
den he damn scared tickle. <: SUPERR CUTE !
he was crawling about.
den, while taking photo, zhengyi said: eh kongwei, TOOT HIM !
his 'toot' is tickle.
;D FUNNY !
den, when walking out, some people already walk out of the house.
i was getting ready to walk out.
den, kongwei was laughing like mad .
practically rolling on the floor.
yes, ON THE FLOOR.
den he said what happened.
__________________________________________________________
uh.. not exactly what happened.
just said: he(referring to xiaoqiang), he... he want to pee den he take out his pants.
den, i looked at the small guy and laughed like mad.
his pants were still at his knees while walking to the toilet.
;D LAUGHLAUGHLAUGH TTM !
den, wenxing was like: woah, esther see this scene so high and keep laughing.(something like that lah)
den, he continued: so next time you know when I emo, they know what to do.
>:O
IM NOT THAT HORNY !
the small guy was just damn cute.
pee anywhere, anytime.
so free. <:
den, while walking to dad and mum oikos that time,
wenhui was like: esther, still rmb the water photo( the marina barrage jumpshot)? 1st time i see you so high sia.
wenxing was like: ;D today is the 2nd time lors ! <:
den i act furious.
MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD FUNNY.
<: cant forget.
<:
cyaas, gonna play facebook. <: